The most important man to ever live
by Ajlin
Summary: Shaun is conflicted about how to handle Desmond. He seems to need a friend, but Desmond was never supposed to be a friend. He wasn't even supposed to be a name to Shaun. He WAS supposed to be a mere number who could be experimented upon. But here he was, subject 17 had turned into not Miles, not Desmond, but Des. And Des needs a friend. Rated M for language
1. Entry 1: Journey to the new world

**Entry 1: Journey to the new world**

When I realised what I had just said, I cringed a little mentally. I had told the fuckface that if he needed to talk, I am here. Why, oh why? There was a reason I did not want to befriend this guy, still is. I do not really need one more person in my life to care about when the world is coming to an end, do I?

Why do I keep doing this to myself? It is like I can not stop my tongue! It just runs and runs and runs while my head is up there like "Oi! Shut up mate! Quiet time! Go to sleep or something!". It is like an unruly child!

No, Desmond was just meant to be Subject 17. Numbers and all, no letters. Subject 17... and then he became Miles, then Desmond, now Des... Jeez, what did I do to deserve this? What?

Ugh, no! Then he turned all smiley, looking at me appreciatively like we had just bonded as men or something. Quick, do something, tell him you need to get back to work! That will work because that is true! Good, he went away. So, yes... back to opening this door I have no clue how to open, and probably ca not be opened without the key.

_AN: Sorry for possible grammar and spelling mistakes. English is my second language._


	2. Entry 2: Execution is everything

**Entry 2: Execution is everything**

Juno really does not like me. She keeps giving me weird glances, and as if getting weird glances from a ghost-thingy (yes, that is the technical term, thank you very much) is not scary enough, she also wrote quite the threatening email. Still, I really think that Desmond should not indulge her. There is something off about her and the lack of Minerva's presence. Des also mentioned that he as well got some sort of angry email from her the other day, talking about humans as murderers. I do not think she is entirely stable.

Good thing is that Des seems to watch me a little closer since I forwarded my email from Juno to him. So I will hopefully not get killed in my sleep any time soon, well at least not from her. That is good, would not want to miss the Apocalypse!

Sometimes I am glad about the fact that Desmond gets that "Someone doesn't like me. LOL", is really just code for "FUCKING HELP, SHE IS GOING TO MURDER ME!". Other times I feel a little emasculated by the fact that I have indirectly said "FUCKING HELP, SHE IS GOING TO MURDER ME!" to Desmond... Just every day thoughts in an every day life. Speaking of every day situations, the Apocalypse should arrive soon and I still can not get that door open. Meanwhile Desmond is running around after almanac pages instead of finding the god damn key. This should be a blast! No pun intended.

_AN: Sorry for possible grammar and spelling mistakes. English is my second language._


	3. Entry 3: Hide and seek

**Entry 3: Hide and seek**

Oh no, do not come here. Do not come here. Turn around, turn around, your father is RIGHT there talk to him instead! Of course not. 'Hello, Des, nice to see ya ol' chap, kindly bugger off'. No I can not tell him that he is under a lot of stress, he does not need me being a dick to him as well. Not after I am already putting him through more stress by sending him after power sources. Granted we need them, but still, this boy is risking his mind and his life. No, not boy. Man, Shaun, this _man_. He is a grown man.

Desmond asks me about doing something "after this is all sorted out". I wonder if he believes that it will be sorted out or if he is just putting on a brave face? I have my doubts, I do not trust Juno as far as I can throw her (and I can not even throw her because she apparently does not have density, fancy that) and it is she telling us to do this after all. Still, it would be nice to get to know Desmond outside of all this. Talk about something other than the animus, and Altaïr, Ezio, Connor, magic fucking apples and the little worry of stopping the end of the world. Actually talk about him... and me... I do not think I know a thing about this man outside of the brotherhood related things other than that he used to work as a bartender. And he probably just thinks that I am a geek, which granted I am.

I agree to his suggestion; sure, after we have dealt with the oncoming doom, we can definitely do something together. Although I should not make plans, because even if we manage to solve this problem, there is a strong chance Desmond might not come out of it alive, that none of us will.

_AN: Sorry for possible grammar and spelling mistakes. English is my second language._


	4. Entry 4: Alternate methods

**Entry 4: Alternate methods**

During the last few weeks we have nearly not spoken at all. He is too busy, I am too busy, there is a deadline coming that we can not miss and we know it. Still I miss him. Jesus, when did this happen? It feels like yesterday that I could question his judgment, call him a small child and just outright not care. But of course I would come to care about him because the man is pretty much fluffy kittens and rainbows. It is like hating Winnie the Pooh, try as you might, it just does not work. Granted, Desmond may be a LITTLE smarter than Winnie the Pooh, but that is only because his head is not filled with stuffing... Well, not entirely anyways, I'm sure.

But then Desmond does something that I have been mentally telling him not to do, begging him not to do. He takes me up on my offer. He walks over all awkwardly, probably hearing the silent 'GO AWAY' that does not even leave my mouth. But he does not go away, because Desmond never goes away. Not even when you are furiously questioning out loud if he is in fact stalking you. He just stands there and why won't he just ever listen? So yes, I am a little bitter because even though I am telling him to go away in my head, there is another part of me that is happy that he made the time to come and talk to me.

"Hey", he states awkwardly and I answer with a little too high pitched 'Hello, Desmond'. I am so bad at this. Snarky, yes, sarcastic, can do, nice? I'm surprised the word is even in my vocabulary. But I feel like I need to be nice. Someone has to be nice to him right now and God knows his father is not doing a very good job at it.

His brow raises a bit and the corner of his mouth twitches into a little smile at my awkward greeting and I realise that I am just kind of standing there, not doing anything, which feels even more awkward so I start to walk around a little. Looking and touching a little on the door. Of course I have no clue of what I am doing but it feels a little more natural to do, well, _something_. We really need to find the key so I can crack this thing open soon.

"What's up?" he asks a little trailing, it feels like he wants to say something else.

"Nothing really, power sources, database entries, stopping the oncoming end of the world. You?" Once upon a time that would have been a snarky comment. This is said as a joke, and the man laughs, which feels good to hear. None of us ever laughs any more.

"You said that if I needed to talk..." he trails off once more. I turn to him and try to not will him into going away, even though I want to. I do not want to hear that he is losing his marbles.

"The bleeding effect... I mean it's under control. But Jesus, Shaun I see so much death, all the time, it's like it never stops." He just blurts out the last part, seeming just wanting to get it out as fast as possible. A way of saying 'HELP!' which on some weird level feels good, because then I do not have to feel so emasculated anymore by doing the same to him earlier. Yes, okay he is losing his mind and I am being threatened by a ghost-thingy which is probably not as frightening but still.

"There's killing in the animus, there's killing to get the power sources, and when I get out of the animus all I still see is people dying, cuz' Ezio, Altaïr and Connor will not just leave me alone". He is worked up, panting a little from talking fast and in a restrained tone not to shout. He pauses. "I know these people had to die, I know where I am, I know who I am... for now...". And there he goes and breaks my heart. I would never admit it to him, but yes.

"Killing is never easy Des, I get it. No one wants to take a life, not even the assassins, and that's what we do." I am not sure my words make any input, mostly because I did not really say anything helpful. He meets my gaze.

"I never wanted this. I ran away because I never wanted to be this and I understand that I have to do it, but God knows I still don't want to. It's not my cause...", he trails off again, fixating on something behind me and by God, my heart breaks again. He has not done this since the sanctuary. Focused on things that were not there. At least he still speaks English.

"Are you sure the bleeding effect is under control?" I ask and take a step towards him with an urge to lay my hand on his shoulder but that feels weird, because that would be nice and I do not do nice... except here I am... being nice... so why not? I put my hand on his shoulder for emphasis, showing that against popular opinion, I do actually care. Lord knows I do not want to, but you know, Whinnie the Pooh.

He smiles a bitter smile at me.

"Even if I wasn't, would that make a difference?". I swear if my heart could break one more time it would have, but since it is already in small pieces after being smushed twice it kinda just rattles in a hurtful way. Because he is right, it would not matter at this point. As far as priorities goes, saving the world comes before saving his mind. His father knows it, Rebecca knows it, I know it, even he knows it. My jaw tightens a bit, my hand still awkwardly on the others shoulder. This was why I wasn't supposed to care. Ugh! DESMOND GO AWAY AND TAKE MY BROKEN HEART WITH YOU! I would probably work better without it at this point. He has his arms crossed in a defensive matter and I feel completely useless as a human being. Have I even said ONE thing that kind of, might have helped? No.

I swallow and open my mouth to say something truthful about me and how I feel, and that does not happen often so the prick better appreciate it.

"It matters to me. We could find some way to make it easier." I let the arm drop and now we kind of stare at each other. Why is being nice this weird? How do people do it? It's unnatural I tell you and it turns even a normal conversation so tense that it could literally sprain something if you tried to bend it. He smiles again.

"I'm afraid we've already tried everything", he says and fucking leaves. He leaves me there with words that took the remains of my heart and put it in a blender and made a nice cry-your-heart-out-smoothie sprinkled with pain. This is why not caring and being an asshole is better. Because if I did not care, that would not have hurt. I would have told him to fuck off when he came up to me and I would not have had this conversation. Fucking Des! Fucking Desmond! Fucking MILES! FUCKING SUBJECT 17!

_AN: Sorry for possible grammar and spelling mistakes. English is my second language._


	5. Entry 5: Return to Abstergo

**Entry 5: Return to Abstergo**

His eyes had widened in horror as I told him the news. His father had been taken captive by Abstergo. He wanted to go in, I tried to talk him out of it, I really did but he would not listen. So we went on a suicide mission with the most important person in the world launching himself into the homebase of the Templars. Just casually walking through the front door out of all things. He could as well have been wearing a flashing sign saying "HELLO MY NAME IS DESMOND MILES".

When I said good luck to him that night I was convinced that it was the last time I was going to see him. I had accepted that we were all going to die, cause Des was going to die. But he did not die. He got his dad, killed Cross and most importantly... he killed Vidic.

Now, back at the base I am starring at him from my workspace at the door. It is late at night and he is seated on the edge of the animus. Rebecca and William are sleeping and I have just finished my last database entry of the night when I notice that he is still up. I sigh and walk over. As I come closer I notice that he is trying to get something out from under his finger nails.

"Hey", I say quietly once I am standing beside him. He meets my gaze for a split second and then starts to work on his nails again.  
"I can't get the blood off me", he mutters and I nod. His sleeves are still stained from the previous battle since we don't have much to offer when it comes to washing our clothes. Desmond had not gotten the time to gather a lot of clothes with him when we left the sanctuary, none of us had but I have a spare cardigan stuffed somewhere I am pretty sure.

"Do you want to borrow something to change out of that?" I say and make a gesture to his white hoodie. He looks at it and then shakes his head.  
"'m fine", he mutters.  
"You don't seem fine", I state and he snorts, quietly.  
"Well, Shaun, I went on a suicide mission not 24 hours ago but managed to get out, you tell me how fine looks like after that", he says, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Generally not like that", I just state and he meets my gaze for real this time and stops fidgeting with his nails. He pauses for a second and then give me a half smile.  
"I just can't believe it went that easy. I should've died..."  
"You nearly did", I point out.

"Yeah, but not by the hands of Vidic! He should've foreseen that I was going to use the apple. He was downright evil, yes but he was not stupid. Why am I not dead?" I can not really see why all this matters but non the less, I place myself beside him and look out into the dark cave.

"Well, Vidic was under a lot of stress as well, the Templars probably know the deadline coming up as well as we do. He was probably desperate and not thinking clearly", I say and Desmond nods.  
"When all this is over, Shaun... Could we take a vacation? Like all of us? Go somewhere?", he says and I laugh a little.  
"Haven't you been around half of the bloody world in the last couple of days?"  
"Yeah, but that was work! You can't unwind and enjoy a city when you are crawling around arena structures or worrying that you're gonna fall of a sky scraper construction site!". His tone is lighter, happier. I laugh a little.

"Sure, a vacation it is. Go to bed, early morning tomorrow." I tell him and he rises.  
"Can't remember the last time I had a late morning", he mumbles more to himself as he begin to walk over to his sleeping bag.

_AN: Sorry for possible grammar and spelling mistakes. English is my second language._


	6. Entry 6: Desmond's decision

**Entry 6: Desmond's decision**

In the end, I did not even say goodbye. I just left. He told us to go and we did. Leaving him to meet his fate alone. I wish... I wish I would have stopped him. I wish I would have told him that the future where he lived was surely better than the future where he died there and then. But I did not tell him that because I knew that it wasn't. I was the last one to leave and the others could not bare to look back, because maybe, just maybe, if they did not see it, it would not really happen. I did. Because I could not bare for him to be alone. If I witnessed what happened then at least I was present, my mind was.

She had said no pain, what I saw was not a man dying painlessly. I saw an electric bolt going through Desmond's body, I saw him gripping his wrist but I could not make out if it was to will himself to keep it in place or because he had changed his mind and attempted to pull it away. His entire body shook uncontrollably before the light went out and the lifeless body collapsed to the floor. Not until then did I turn around and followed the others.

William have not spoken since. Rebecca just cries a lot. Me... I just keep wondering if it was all worth it, what he had to go through. The upbringing, the escape from the brotherhood just to be snatched up and experimented upon by Abstergo, Lucy's betrayal, all the death that he did not want. It all seems to be in vain. In the end he had to choose between two evil things and did what he thought was the lesser of the two. Gave his life and made it up to us to change the fate of humanity.

In brief moments I am angry with him. Because I keep thinking that he took a cowardly way out. A way where he resigned his responsibility, an end where we had to clean up the mess and he could finally have peace. But I knew... I KNOW this is not true. Desmond had always done what he believed was right, regardless of the consequences it brought to himself. Desmond wanted to give humanity a chance and he did. And now it is up to us to make sure he did not do it in vain. I just... I just wish that he was here to see it, to witness what his actions will do to the world.

Subject 17, a number in a record. A mere DNA-trace, that was all he was. Never in a million years would any of us have foreseen that Desmond Miles would be the most important man who ever lived.

Goodbye, Des. I am afraid our vacation will have to wait.

_AN: Sorry for possible grammar and spelling mistakes. English is my second language. _

_AN 2: Sooo that was that! Haha I actually started this a year ago while playing Assassin's creed III. I'm excited to play Black flag now! Anyways I just found that the development of Shaun's and Desmond's relationship in Assassin's creed III was really interesting and felt like just doing a little recap of the game through Shaun's perspective._

_Hope you enjoyed!_

_Love /Ajlin_


End file.
